Today was also the day I started my second medication, the stimulation medication Follistim. So now my twice a day shot regimen went from this:
Twice the pokes, twice the time to get it done. Which means more time to dwell on each shot. The tiny little insulin needles barely pinch whereas for some reason the Follistim Pen needles seem to hurt much more. I often wonder if it would be easier if I didn't give the shot to myself. Having to watch what I'm doing seems to make it hurt that much more. And I'm the type that doesn't watch when I'm getting blood drawn or getting another kind of shot. But having someone else give me shots means twice the anxiety (me and the person doing it) and I'd rather keep the anxiety contained to one person for as long as possible. After all, if I groan or yelp in pain, I'm not surprising anyone else or making anyone else feel bad for hurting me. It's all on me in that moment.
I prefer my husband's support right now the way it is. He's been a saint so far; offering DQ ice cream, running to the pharmacy for my sinus stuff, and preparing hot compresses for me when I was so uncomfortable last night. And of course holding me just because I need it at that moment in time. All this is so overwhelming but in those moments, I am calm; and in IVF being calm makes a world of difference.