Tuesday, January 8, 2013


It's amazing how our concept of time changes depending on what's happening in our lives.  With infertility, time can pass at a snail's pace or at lightspeed depending on where you are in the process. 

Time can fly by when you suddenly realize that it's been 6 months and nothing has happened; denial about how long you've been actually trying can pop up here. I used to fudge that number myself in the early days.

The infamous two week also messes with your concept of time.  This time period between ovulation and either the start of a period or the time when you can take a pregnancy test.  The two week wait can seem like years when you're trying to get pregnant.  Even the 3 minutes it takes to process a pregnancy test at the end of that time can seem like hours when you're staring at it. 

Time also seems to creep by when you're waiting.  Infertility treatments mean a lot of waiting around.  Waiting for tests, for periods to come (or not come), waiting to get on the calendar at your clinic, and waiting to get the call from the clinic with your results.  All this waiting without having a clue much of the time what will happen.

Then if you're lucky like I am, the waiting ends.  You're finally where you want to be!  Then your concept of time changes again.  Now you're counting your pregnancy in weeks.  Ask any pregnant woman and most can tell you down to the day how far along they are.  For example, as of today, I am 19 weeks 1 day pregnant.  Time passes in a whole new way.  Suddenly you're calculating at what stage of pregnancy you'll be when something happens or when something happened.  It becomes a new way to mark time.

Once your miracle makes his or her entrance into the world, how you view time will change again.  Now you're marking time by how old your baby is (1 week, 1 month, 1 year, 18 months, etc).  Time here, at least in the newborn phase, seems to move by so slowly mainly because you're awake all the time!  Then suddenly, just like that, time is speeding along again.  They always say enjoy these days with your kids because the time goes by so fast.  In some aspects that's very true.  In others, not so much. Time creeps by when your child is sick and you just want the meds to kick in so they can feel better.  But time speeds by like a race car when it comes to milestones such as walking, talking, eating, and eventually, going to school.  I ask myself all the time where did this Kindergartner in my house come from.  Wasn't he just born a minute ago?

While we have a number of concrete ways to mark time, your life experiences are really the ones that help you mark the time in your own life.  I hope that you are marking the time in a way that makes sense to you and gives you the most peace.

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