Thursday, February 23, 2012

How we got here

I am an IVF survivor.  It feels good and sad to say that all at once.  It wasn't supposed to be this way.  I married my Prince Charming, we were supposed to have the typical family and ride off into the sunset.

Instead we spent years on fertility treatments, beginning in 2003, and finally ending with our first completed IVF cycle in January 2006, resulting in our beautiful son, Samuel, born October 2006.

His first baby picture:

After he was born, we decided to let Mother Nature decide our path.  After a year of staying that course, we took a break from it, and then, realizing that we needed to again take matters into our own hands, we went again.  Somehow it was easier the second time around.  I was sad that I needed to do this again, but wanted to add to my family.  So in January 2009 we completed our second IVF cycle, and our second son, Zachary, was born October 2009.

I swore I was done.  I said no more IVF.  I thought I couldn't do it again -- financially, but more importantly, emotionally.   IVF drains you, tests your will and fortitude, and makes you feel like a pincushion.  I had an IUD put in and focused on raising my family.  My boys' health needs came first (both of them have multiple food allergies) and it was clear that at least Samuel would need educational intervention.  After two years with the IUD, we agreed to give Mother Nature another crack at it.  What harm could it be?  We said two years max and then we would accept whatever our family shape was at that time.  I began to make plans to go back to school and work.

But somehow something was missing.  Like someone that was supposed to be in our family but wasn't.  It was clear from the start that Mother Nature wasn't going to cooperate so here we are again; taking matters into our own hands, hoping to find the missing piece to our puzzle.

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