Today is officially the beginning of the end. I am 27 weeks today and that marks the beginning of the 3rd trimester. The final 12 - 13 weeks before we meet our little lady have begun and I find myself feeling a little sad. After all, this is truly my final pregnancy; the show is over after she is born. And while it seemed so far away so many years ago, now it seems too close.
It was just about a year ago that my husband and I started flirting with the idea of adding to our family again; this blog wasn't even an idea yet. And now we're coming to the end of the road. The end of our infertility road and I can finally say that my family feels complete.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Friday, February 15, 2013
Viability and High Heels
Huh? Viability and high heels? What a strange name for a blog title! But it's really what's on my mind these last few days. Weird I know. It's strange sometimes the things I worry about.
I am now just past the 24 week mark which means that our little lady has reached viability! If something were to happen and she needed to be born, her chances of survival, while challenging and rife with potential lifelong health issues, would be fairly high. I don't know why, but this knowledge gives me comfort. I'm a worrier by nature and each day I get closer to certain milestones in my pregnancy, the more I feel I can relax. I'm also reassured daily by her activity in my belly. She seems to think it's her own personal space to do what she wants with and is constantly trying to rearrange my uterus. This has caused many an alien movement with aggressive kicks/punches that can be quite entertaining to feel and watch. Given that most people can't see this unless I tell them, it's one thing that's just between her and I.
As for the high heels, well, let me tell ya, that has suddenly become a challenge that sprung up on me by surprise. The beauty (or not so beauty depending on your viewpoint) of winter is that I spend most of my outdoor time in my fur lined boots. These are slip ons and don't really require much bending over. Imagine my surprise the other day when I tried to put on an actual pair of shoes, my high heeled shoes for my brother's upcoming wedding to be exact. Bending over to notch my new slingback heels proved to be impossible. A task that should normally take just under a minute, took me a good five or six minutes as I attempted to contort my body into a position that would allow me to put these shoes on. Needless to say, they were not un-notched when I took them off. A fact I much appreciated when I had to put them on again a few days later for my dress fitting. I had the same issue trying to put on my sneakers not too long after. It seems as though my tie shoe days are fast approaching an end. Not so horrible really except that we are still enjoying winter and the slushy days of spring are still yet to come.
Sometimes I feel guilty complaining about these things. I am always conscious of those that would love to have these problems but for some reason are not able to. So, ever mindful of these people, I keep my complaining to a minimum and instead try to focus on the wonder that is this human being inside of me, and continue to be grateful that I am able to have these experiences.
I am now just past the 24 week mark which means that our little lady has reached viability! If something were to happen and she needed to be born, her chances of survival, while challenging and rife with potential lifelong health issues, would be fairly high. I don't know why, but this knowledge gives me comfort. I'm a worrier by nature and each day I get closer to certain milestones in my pregnancy, the more I feel I can relax. I'm also reassured daily by her activity in my belly. She seems to think it's her own personal space to do what she wants with and is constantly trying to rearrange my uterus. This has caused many an alien movement with aggressive kicks/punches that can be quite entertaining to feel and watch. Given that most people can't see this unless I tell them, it's one thing that's just between her and I.
As for the high heels, well, let me tell ya, that has suddenly become a challenge that sprung up on me by surprise. The beauty (or not so beauty depending on your viewpoint) of winter is that I spend most of my outdoor time in my fur lined boots. These are slip ons and don't really require much bending over. Imagine my surprise the other day when I tried to put on an actual pair of shoes, my high heeled shoes for my brother's upcoming wedding to be exact. Bending over to notch my new slingback heels proved to be impossible. A task that should normally take just under a minute, took me a good five or six minutes as I attempted to contort my body into a position that would allow me to put these shoes on. Needless to say, they were not un-notched when I took them off. A fact I much appreciated when I had to put them on again a few days later for my dress fitting. I had the same issue trying to put on my sneakers not too long after. It seems as though my tie shoe days are fast approaching an end. Not so horrible really except that we are still enjoying winter and the slushy days of spring are still yet to come.
Sometimes I feel guilty complaining about these things. I am always conscious of those that would love to have these problems but for some reason are not able to. So, ever mindful of these people, I keep my complaining to a minimum and instead try to focus on the wonder that is this human being inside of me, and continue to be grateful that I am able to have these experiences.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
22 weeks and kicking!
I am cruising right along through this pregnancy! Today was my 22 week appointment. Nothing all that exciting -- lab check, chat with the doc, and then my favorite part: getting to hear the heartbeat. My doc is so awesome that she even makes it possible for me to record it (God bless smartphones)! I'm always reassured by that sound and I never get tired of hearing it.
I was even brave enough to take a pic of myself this week and while I feel like a whale, I was amazed that my weight gain has been a really reasonable 9 pounds.
And since this little lady is so unbelievably active, we've nicknamed her Thumper. Mainly because she doesn't just kick -- she thumps me! She also throws in some rolls and turns just for fun and is active throughout the day (and occasionally into the sleeping hours of the night).
Many people have asked if we have a name for her yet. Not quite yet and won't for awhile as we work our way through the baby name book once again. We're hoping to nail it down by April but we are also firm believers in meeting our babies first before finally deciding for sure.
Next appointment is in 4 weeks and in addition to the regular check up, I get to drink the nasty sugar fluid (ok not so nasty but still not pleasant) and make sure I'm not developing diabetes. We also get to start thinking about when the little lady will make her arrival!
Our puzzle is slowly coming together and the piece that is this little person inside of me grows stronger every day.
I was even brave enough to take a pic of myself this week and while I feel like a whale, I was amazed that my weight gain has been a really reasonable 9 pounds.
And since this little lady is so unbelievably active, we've nicknamed her Thumper. Mainly because she doesn't just kick -- she thumps me! She also throws in some rolls and turns just for fun and is active throughout the day (and occasionally into the sleeping hours of the night).
Many people have asked if we have a name for her yet. Not quite yet and won't for awhile as we work our way through the baby name book once again. We're hoping to nail it down by April but we are also firm believers in meeting our babies first before finally deciding for sure.
Next appointment is in 4 weeks and in addition to the regular check up, I get to drink the nasty sugar fluid (ok not so nasty but still not pleasant) and make sure I'm not developing diabetes. We also get to start thinking about when the little lady will make her arrival!
Our puzzle is slowly coming together and the piece that is this little person inside of me grows stronger every day.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Ultrasound Day!
Aside from getting that call from the nurse with the news of my positive pregnancy test, today is one of my favorite days during pregnancy. We finally got to get a good look at Baby Manke and hopefully, get a peek at the goods.
Baby Manke was very active and not enjoying the ultrasound experience at all which made for some giggles and laughter by us and the tech. But finally, the tech got the view she needed. Baby Manke is now Baby GIRL Manke!
It is more than we can hope for after being blessed with two lovely and active boys. And it seems as if Baby Girl will follow in her big brothers' footsteps. She is measuring spot on for her dates and looks terrific in utero.
Our missing piece of the puzzle is starting to get clearer and clearer with each passing day....
Baby Manke was very active and not enjoying the ultrasound experience at all which made for some giggles and laughter by us and the tech. But finally, the tech got the view she needed. Baby Manke is now Baby GIRL Manke!
It is more than we can hope for after being blessed with two lovely and active boys. And it seems as if Baby Girl will follow in her big brothers' footsteps. She is measuring spot on for her dates and looks terrific in utero.
Our missing piece of the puzzle is starting to get clearer and clearer with each passing day....
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Time
It's amazing how our concept of time changes depending on what's happening in our lives. With infertility, time can pass at a snail's pace or at lightspeed depending on where you are in the process.
Time can fly by when you suddenly realize that it's been 6 months and nothing has happened; denial about how long you've been actually trying can pop up here. I used to fudge that number myself in the early days.
The infamous two week also messes with your concept of time. This time period between ovulation and either the start of a period or the time when you can take a pregnancy test. The two week wait can seem like years when you're trying to get pregnant. Even the 3 minutes it takes to process a pregnancy test at the end of that time can seem like hours when you're staring at it.
Time also seems to creep by when you're waiting. Infertility treatments mean a lot of waiting around. Waiting for tests, for periods to come (or not come), waiting to get on the calendar at your clinic, and waiting to get the call from the clinic with your results. All this waiting without having a clue much of the time what will happen.
Then if you're lucky like I am, the waiting ends. You're finally where you want to be! Then your concept of time changes again. Now you're counting your pregnancy in weeks. Ask any pregnant woman and most can tell you down to the day how far along they are. For example, as of today, I am 19 weeks 1 day pregnant. Time passes in a whole new way. Suddenly you're calculating at what stage of pregnancy you'll be when something happens or when something happened. It becomes a new way to mark time.
Once your miracle makes his or her entrance into the world, how you view time will change again. Now you're marking time by how old your baby is (1 week, 1 month, 1 year, 18 months, etc). Time here, at least in the newborn phase, seems to move by so slowly mainly because you're awake all the time! Then suddenly, just like that, time is speeding along again. They always say enjoy these days with your kids because the time goes by so fast. In some aspects that's very true. In others, not so much. Time creeps by when your child is sick and you just want the meds to kick in so they can feel better. But time speeds by like a race car when it comes to milestones such as walking, talking, eating, and eventually, going to school. I ask myself all the time where did this Kindergartner in my house come from. Wasn't he just born a minute ago?
While we have a number of concrete ways to mark time, your life experiences are really the ones that help you mark the time in your own life. I hope that you are marking the time in a way that makes sense to you and gives you the most peace.
Time can fly by when you suddenly realize that it's been 6 months and nothing has happened; denial about how long you've been actually trying can pop up here. I used to fudge that number myself in the early days.
The infamous two week also messes with your concept of time. This time period between ovulation and either the start of a period or the time when you can take a pregnancy test. The two week wait can seem like years when you're trying to get pregnant. Even the 3 minutes it takes to process a pregnancy test at the end of that time can seem like hours when you're staring at it.
Time also seems to creep by when you're waiting. Infertility treatments mean a lot of waiting around. Waiting for tests, for periods to come (or not come), waiting to get on the calendar at your clinic, and waiting to get the call from the clinic with your results. All this waiting without having a clue much of the time what will happen.
Then if you're lucky like I am, the waiting ends. You're finally where you want to be! Then your concept of time changes again. Now you're counting your pregnancy in weeks. Ask any pregnant woman and most can tell you down to the day how far along they are. For example, as of today, I am 19 weeks 1 day pregnant. Time passes in a whole new way. Suddenly you're calculating at what stage of pregnancy you'll be when something happens or when something happened. It becomes a new way to mark time.
Once your miracle makes his or her entrance into the world, how you view time will change again. Now you're marking time by how old your baby is (1 week, 1 month, 1 year, 18 months, etc). Time here, at least in the newborn phase, seems to move by so slowly mainly because you're awake all the time! Then suddenly, just like that, time is speeding along again. They always say enjoy these days with your kids because the time goes by so fast. In some aspects that's very true. In others, not so much. Time creeps by when your child is sick and you just want the meds to kick in so they can feel better. But time speeds by like a race car when it comes to milestones such as walking, talking, eating, and eventually, going to school. I ask myself all the time where did this Kindergartner in my house come from. Wasn't he just born a minute ago?
While we have a number of concrete ways to mark time, your life experiences are really the ones that help you mark the time in your own life. I hope that you are marking the time in a way that makes sense to you and gives you the most peace.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Reflecting on the year that was
At this time of the year I like to reflect back on the year that was. The things we did, the experiences we had, and how much our family has changed.
Last year at this time, I had just had my IUD removed in a "'let's see what happens" kind of move. We also got the chance at an amazing trip to see our college alma mater go to the Rose Bowl and visit with some old college friends we hadn't seen in years plus make a new friend. This not long after we had celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary the previous October.
The spring brought us to our decision that Mother Nature wasn't interested in a "let's see what happens" pregnancy, and we needed to once again take aggressive action to grow our family. It was a decision that wasn't made lightly; after all, no one would fault us for not having more. Having 2 children is more socially acceptable than ever; but it felt like someone was missing in our hearts and in our home. So we made the dive again into the world of IVF, but this time documenting our experience in this blog in the hopes that our experience would give someone else hope and support. The world of infertility can feel very lonely, especially if you choose to keep your journey private.
We spent the summer preparing ourselves with meetings, testing, and again more meetings. The summer was also a busy one with many activities for us and our children, including another amazing vacation with my husband's family.
By fall we were ready to go. My oldest started Kindergarten, my youngest started preschool, and I started the process again. At the end of September we were once again blessed with positive results and the knowledge that we were that much closer to finding our missing piece.
As winter has started (with a bang here in Minnesota!), I am reflecting on what next year will bring us. I am roughly 3 and a half weeks away from knowing whether I'll need more blue or can think pink. We'll start preparing for our new arrival come spring shortly after we watch my younger brother get married. Come late spring/early summer, we'll finally see what we have waited all year for -- our missing piece of the puzzle.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! May the holiday season bring you peace, love, and joy; and give you time to reflect on the year that was and look forward to the year that will be.
Last year at this time, I had just had my IUD removed in a "'let's see what happens" kind of move. We also got the chance at an amazing trip to see our college alma mater go to the Rose Bowl and visit with some old college friends we hadn't seen in years plus make a new friend. This not long after we had celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary the previous October.
The spring brought us to our decision that Mother Nature wasn't interested in a "let's see what happens" pregnancy, and we needed to once again take aggressive action to grow our family. It was a decision that wasn't made lightly; after all, no one would fault us for not having more. Having 2 children is more socially acceptable than ever; but it felt like someone was missing in our hearts and in our home. So we made the dive again into the world of IVF, but this time documenting our experience in this blog in the hopes that our experience would give someone else hope and support. The world of infertility can feel very lonely, especially if you choose to keep your journey private.
We spent the summer preparing ourselves with meetings, testing, and again more meetings. The summer was also a busy one with many activities for us and our children, including another amazing vacation with my husband's family.
By fall we were ready to go. My oldest started Kindergarten, my youngest started preschool, and I started the process again. At the end of September we were once again blessed with positive results and the knowledge that we were that much closer to finding our missing piece.
As winter has started (with a bang here in Minnesota!), I am reflecting on what next year will bring us. I am roughly 3 and a half weeks away from knowing whether I'll need more blue or can think pink. We'll start preparing for our new arrival come spring shortly after we watch my younger brother get married. Come late spring/early summer, we'll finally see what we have waited all year for -- our missing piece of the puzzle.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! May the holiday season bring you peace, love, and joy; and give you time to reflect on the year that was and look forward to the year that will be.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Goodbye Zofran, Hello 2nd trimester!
It finally happened and I barely noticed! I successfully weaned myself from the Zofran and not one drop of nausea. I was getting anxious to be done for two reasons: 1) I don't like taking medication when I'm pregnant and 2) I didn't want to refill the prescription (I was down to the last two!).
I'm finally starting to round out a little bit but still in that baby or extra burrito phase, and things are evening out it seems. Other unpleasant symptoms of early pregnancy are either fading (headaches and nausea) or easing into more familiar rhythms (exhaustion, weight gain, cravings, and hunger pangs). Plus, I'm starting to (I think) feel whispers of movement but it's not 100% sure. I'm in the is it the baby or gas kind of phase, which to me is extremely frustrating!
It's a relief to be finally past all the yuckiness and get into the business of really enjoying this pregnancy. It is for sure my last and I'd hate to waste any more of it not feeling well.
I'm finally starting to round out a little bit but still in that baby or extra burrito phase, and things are evening out it seems. Other unpleasant symptoms of early pregnancy are either fading (headaches and nausea) or easing into more familiar rhythms (exhaustion, weight gain, cravings, and hunger pangs). Plus, I'm starting to (I think) feel whispers of movement but it's not 100% sure. I'm in the is it the baby or gas kind of phase, which to me is extremely frustrating!
It's a relief to be finally past all the yuckiness and get into the business of really enjoying this pregnancy. It is for sure my last and I'd hate to waste any more of it not feeling well.
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